I was turning my wedding ring around my finger the other day, an old habit. But this time, something caught me.

The band was no longer round. It was bent, scratched, dulled. Once engraved with delicate roses and winding vines, those designs have long since worn away, smoothed by years of work, weather, and life, until they’re nearly unrecognizable. And somehow, it’s more beautiful now than it ever was.

That ring has been on my finger for 30 years. Thirty years of commitment, challenges, victories, and growth with my wife, Jen.

That ring is not damaged. It is rustic. It is weathered. It is strong. And in it, I see us.

Worn Metal, Weathered Love

In an an inspiring article by Dr. Mitch Javidi posted on June 3, 2025, he talks about how rust and wear isn't a sign of damage, instead it's an indication of resiliency and elasticity, through a demonstration of weathered strength.

Real marriage isn’t found in highlight reels or staged anniversary photos. It’s found in the tough moments, the whispered apologies, the quiet resilience, the loyalty that survives not just hard days, but hard decades.

This ring has hit the floor during arguments and been slipped off in exhaustion. But just like our marriage, it never broke. It bent. It changed. It carried the marks.

My ring also has seen the sand of the Caribbean, the shores of Ireland and Scotland, the Great Wall of China, the glaciers of Alaska. In those times, my ring was polished by adventure, excitement, and the experience of life with my best friend. It's those times that helped bring my ring back from the dullness and grime that life threw at us.

If it were still pristine after three decades, it wouldn’t be telling the truth.

The Rustic Identity of Love

In the MAGNUS OVEA model of leadership and human performance, we teach that rustic identity is a strength born through hardship. It isn’t polished. It isn’t perfect. But it endures.

A 30-year marriage doesn’t last on spark alone. It lasts because of:

• Elasticity – Adjusting to life’s ever-changing seasons.

• Resiliency – Standing firm when everything else feels uncertain.

• Magnanimity – Offering grace when resentment would be easier.

• Rustic Character – Living your vows long after the ceremony fades.

Jen and I have had our fair share of storms, grief, uncertainty, career shifts, and real-life pressure. Like my ring, we’ve been worn down. But we’ve never worn out.

Bend, Don’t Break

When I speak to leaders in law enforcement, I tell them: the scratches are not flaws. They are evidence.

This worn wedding ring is not a relic. It’s a reminder that what’s been tested and endured has more value than anything untouched by time.

It tells me: love is not proven in ease, it is forged in resilience.

A Love Worth Leading

Leadership doesn’t begin in the line-up room. It begins at home.

Before I can teach others about MAGNUS leadership, I have to live it, in my marriage, my parenting, my relationships. And the most meaningful leadership I’ve ever been called to is learning how to love well, consistently, and quietly through the years.

Whole Because of the Wear

So if your marriage feels worn, bent, or even unrecognizable, don’t panic. That might just mean it’s real.

My ring still fits. My bond with Jen still holds. And its beauty isn’t in symmetry, it’s in the story it tells.

After 30 years, I didn’t marry perfection. I married presence. I married resilience. I married grace. I married rustic strength.

And I’m profoundly grateful.

To Jen, thank you for loving me through every bend. Here’s to 30 more years of weathered, relentless grace.

If this message resonated with you, as a spouse, a leader, or someone trying to lead well both at work and at home, I’d love to hear your story. What’s your "weathered symbol" of love or leadership?

#RusticStrength #MarriageMatters #LeadershipAtHome #MAGNUSLeadership #Resiliency #MAGNUSOVEA